February 20th 2016

four months to go

We have 4 months more... It feels like September 23rd is just few days ago

Time does fly fast when you enjoy or you know there is definitely an ending. We know we wouldn't be together long, however, we took the risks.

No... we were just stupid. We thought 1 year could be enough. I did not expect to love him this much, maybe neither did he. We all knew that we would end up in sadness yet we started everything..

But I do not regret. It's stupid but I don't regret. On the contrary, starting this relationship was a life-changing choice I made. He was there when I needed, and he still is.

At this point, I think I don't care about the time anymore. 4 months or 4 days or even 4 hours, I don't care. Every second spending with him counts. He is not perfect but he loves me in the most perfect way. We fight, we argue, we cry, we get hurt but we still love each other. They are just parts of love. Everyone goes through those stages...

It has been nearly 5 months so far... 5 months is not a long time when it comes to relationship. But for us, it's half of the way already. We had plans that we would continue until summer 2017. However, everything changed because I am going to America instead of France as we planned. To be honest, I am not confident that I can maintain a long-distance relationship. Especially when I have been so used to having him beside me everyday, sleeping in his arm every night and getting help from him whenever I need. So yes... unfortunately we have 4 months left.

Ever since he knew that I was going to America next year, he has never blamed me that I chose America as my first exchange choice. He just said he was sad for himself but happy for me, which is heartbreaking enough. He never blames on me. Never... He is sad but never has he, even indirectly, blamed me for not sacrificing for him, or us. Of course I could've chosen France as my first exchange choice, but he encouraged me to choose America. He knows I want to be there, he just knows. 

Arnaud, your heart is like a thousand-year-old natural wonder. You are precious and special and real. You keep everything real. You keep everything simple. You keep everything unique. You keep everything special. I will never forget you... And I love you :)