Saturday, 5 March 2016

An unforgettably awesome trip to ROME (part 1)

KOKKOLA - ROME

Transportation

Kokkola - Istanbul

We started on February 29th at 3AM. We got out of our apartment at 4:30AM to get the train which left at 5:30AM for Helsinki Airport. It is a pity that we live so far from Helsinki (400km) and it took us around 4 hours to get there. It was my second time being at Helsinki Airport, well, because this was the first time I traveled somewhere outside of Finland :) The airport is small, but really clean. I think there is not a lot of international airports which are clean like Helsinki Airport. 

Istanbul - Rome

The flight took off at 1:20PM and we arrived at Istanbul International Airport at around 5:20PM. It was supposed to be 4:55PM but the airport is so shitty that the pilot had to fly around to kill time in order to land. I guess the organization of the airport is not so efficient :/ 

However, Turkish Airlines was good for service. We were given this Turkish candy at the beginning of the flight.


It tastes a little bit like "mè xửng", a Vietnamese traditional candy. It is soft, chewy and has sugar sprinkled outside. It was really nice. We loved it and we were so excited for it on the way back :)). The meal was not so bad, we had cucumber and yogurt for starter (it's a Turkish food which Yagiz and Ozge did for us before they came back to Turkey), ratatouille with rice for main course and mousse for dessert. Of course we had fresh bread with butter and cream cheese spread, which was really Turkish too ^^.

Istanbul International Airport is bigger than Helsinki and also dirtier :/ the toilets were awfully smelly and the restaurant service was disappointing. There was no free wifi and electric outlets like in Finland, a big minus!!! However, we spent 4 hours there because of the transition and it was not a good time. But we were able to buy cheap cigarettes at Duty Free shops so overall it was not so upset. Our flight was supposed to leave at 9PM from Instanbul but there was a 45-minute delay and we weren't informed beforehand at all. Another minus! Not just that, we had to do an extremely long taxi because the plan had to queue to take off since there were so many airplanes taking off at the same time. The airport absolutely sucks at organizing!

As a result of the delay, we arrived at Fiumicino Airport at 00:30 instead of 10:45PM as planned. The last train from the airport to the center left at 00:30 so we were fucked up. We tried contacting the host before coming to Rome to ask her to pick us up at the airport but she didn't come because she misunderstood that we would come the next day. Sooooo, we waited for maybe a fucking hour at the airport for nothing because she didn't answer the phone. Luckily, there was an Italian guy who also wanted to go to Tuscolana so we share the taxi fee with him. It was 20 fucking euros :/ but still better than nothing. When we were on the taxi, Manuela, the host, called us back and she explained that it was a misunderstanding between her and Airbnb and we could stay at her friend's house since she was out of town that night. So we waited for maybe around 1 hour more at Tuscolana for Achille. her friend, to take us to his place. He has an apartment for rent too and it was lovely. At that point, we just needed a place to sleep and it was beyond that. We were so exhausted that we fell as sleep immediately after lying on the bed and we slept until 10AM the next day.

BEFORE THE ADVENTURE

Manuela's house

We walked and took the Metro to her place at around 3PM after a meal at Mc Donald's. The Metro ticket for 3-day travel was 18 euros but we couldn't pay by card so Arnaud had to withdraw cash, which was annoying. In Italy, there are places where they do not accept card payment and we didn't have much cash. The Metro, just like every other Metro, was dirty and full of robbers. 

Manuela's house was pretty and cozy, just like what she describes on Airbnb. Our room was clean and fully equipped. We had a real big bed, which we don't have in Finland so we were happy for that. We rested for about an hour before going around the city to check on map the directions and transportations. We left the apartment at 4PM. It was 18 degrees, we almost melted :))

Transportation in Rome

We took Metro to go the center and it was fast. We were advised by Manuela that we should keep our valuable papers at home at just take copies of them. We did and we also put our belongings in our inside pockets because there have been so many robberies in the Metro. The Metro is surprisingly punctual. At first I thought Italians are not used to being on time but no. Every 3 minute, there is a Metro.

ROME - A GORGEOUS CITY

The first day 

We started our "journey" at 4PM and we visited Colosseo first. Unfortunately, it was closed because its opening hour is from 8AM till 4PM. So we decided to walk along the street to see the outside of Colosseo and the Forum. They were so beautiful and majestic. 



After that, we went to a church nearby. There were so many tourists, especially French! People were wearing scarfs and thick jackets and we were like one thin pullover with the sleeves up ^^ The result of living in Finland and having suffer the extremely tough winter. The church was beautiful, even the way to it was nice too. It doesn't look luxury or anything but it was Italian!



The most breath-taking part of the church was undoubtedly the inside decoration. Everyone knows Italian are cut out for church decoration but we still got surprised anyway



This is the ceiling. I was so in love with it because of it detailed decoration and its gorgeous appearance. 

After the church, we went back down to visit the outside of The Forum. We didn't have the ticket so we just saw some basic things but they were beautiful enough ^^





We walked like 20km the first day and we visited Piazza di Spagna, Trevi Fountain, Piazza Navona, Pantheon, Piazza Venezia in the evening. Belows are photos respectively






We were starving after visiting many places so we decided that we would head for a really delicious pizza dinner meal. We came to this restaurant and ordered 2 pizzas, capricciosa and beoseola (if I remember it correctly). The dinner was my boyfriend's late Valentine gift for me and it was perfect. The service was good, the pizzas were true Italian and definitely delicious!


This one was Beoseola with basic base with Parma harm, mozzarella cheese, olive and artichoke



This one was capricciosa with basic base, rucola, harm and Parmesan cheese

Totally, the dinner costed us only 27 euros including the drinks. It was 9 - 10 euros for a pizza, which is quite cheap for their quality. We were so tired that we took the bus to go back to The Forum and walked there for awhile before coming back home. In the evening, the lights were on and they make everything even much more glamorous! I felt so relaxed and enjoyable while walking along the street with Arnaud and looking at those beauties :) We walked until Colosseo because we wanted to witness its beauty with the lights at night and it was worthy!


We took the Metro to go back home and conclude our first day like that :)



Saturday, 20 February 2016

February 20th 2016

four months to go

We have 4 months more... It feels like September 23rd is just few days ago
Time does fly fast when you enjoy or you know there is definitely an ending. We know we wouldn't be together long, however, we took the risks.
No... we were just stupid. We thought 1 year could be enough. I did not expect to love him this much, maybe neither did he. We all knew that we would end up in sadness yet we started everything..

But I do not regret. It's stupid but I don't regret. On the contrary, starting this relationship was a life-changing choice I made. He was there when I needed, and he still is.

At this point, I think I don't care about the time anymore. 4 months or 4 days or even 4 hours, I don't care. Every second spending with him counts. He is not perfect but he loves me in the most perfect way. We fight, we argue, we cry, we get hurt but we still love each other. They are just parts of love. Everyone goes through those stages...

It has been nearly 5 months so far... 5 months is not a long time when it comes to relationship. But for us, it's half of the way already. We had plans that we would continue until summer 2017. However, everything changed because I am going to America instead of France as we planned. To be honest, I am not confident that I can maintain a long-distance relationship. Especially when I have been so used to having him beside me everyday, sleeping in his arm every night and getting help from him whenever I need. So yes... unfortunately we have 4 months left.

Ever since he knew that I was going to America next year, he has never blamed me that I chose America as my first exchange choice. He just said he was sad for himself but happy for me, which is heartbreaking enough. He never blames on me. Never... He is sad but never has he, even indirectly, blamed me for not sacrificing for him, or us. Of course I could've chosen France as my first exchange choice, but he encouraged me to choose America. He knows I want to be there, he just knows. 

Arnaud, your heart is like a thousand-year-old natural wonder. You are precious and special and real. You keep everything real. You keep everything simple. You keep everything unique. You keep everything special. I will never forget you... And I love you :)

Monday, 1 February 2016

I dont like myself right now
I am a fastidious old piece of shit. I am criticizing everything he does. I am being meanly sarcastic to him. I barely talk to him today. I dont even kiss him like I usually do. I dont say "I Love You" back whenever he says that today. I feel bad inside but I cannot stop
Looking at his face, I want to hug him and say let's make up but my pride is too big. And besides, I dont know if I forgive him this time, will he eventually change.
I said we would break up if he kept being such a child again. This time he did. He was angry just because things didnt go as he wanted. All he cares about is his benefits. If he wants to watch a movie, he has to watch a movie. If I say I dont want to, he will be disturbed, he will complain.
I didnt even know what kind of movie I wanted when he asked me to choose a movie. How was I supposed to choose? The one I wanted was not online... I had no motivation. I am tired every night because all the day I had to do stuff. Every night I am tired and never has he asked me if I was feeling OK.
He loves me. I know he truly does. But I want more actions...
I dont want to talk about the same problem over and over again. It irritates both of us. And what is the point of telling him my problems when he is not even bother to change?
He loves me. But is his love enough? Why am I holding on right now? What for am I holding on right now?
There have been moments I want to give up on this relationship but I guess I love him too much. I love him too much...
But I might not be blind. I see flaws in him. I see how he is not willing to change for me.
I dont ask him to change his personality, never. I want him to be himself but he has to grow up. He has to be a man to deserve a woman.
I think a lot about us, I think a lot about how I'd be without him in my life. Every time I do it, I cry. I cannot imagine my life without him.. I think that's why I haven't given up yet
But everything has its limit... and he is getting nearer to mine. My ego and my pride are big, I don't allow anyone to hurt me. But he has... several times. The worst thing is he never does it on purpose so I cannot hate him and break up. He is so childish and innocent to understand what I expect from him as a girlfriend.
"We accept the love that we think we deserve"
Do I really deserve this? Is this kind of a compensation?
Or maybe... he doesn't love me enough to change for me...
I was willing to change myself for him. I've started being softer, I don't get rough like I used to anymore. I did it beause I love him and because I don't want to hurt him. I know I have bad habits and I hurt people often and I don't want to do it to him. I feel like he deserves more than that. He is a sensitive boy, he has tough past, he needs loving.. I've tried so hard. It was nearly impossible for me and I've tried
But now he makes me wonder... is he worth my try?
Why don't I get anything in return?
He says I am beautiful and smart all day... but does he really cherish me as a beautiful smart girl?
I hate overthinking but I am doing it right now. I feel helpless...
Should I give him time?
Should I take risks getting seriously hurt once and then stop?
Should I trust him again? Should I lean on him?
He will leave me anyway... maybe it's the reason why he doesn't take this relationship so seriously?
Arnaud, I love you but you have to let me love you.....

Saturday, 5 December 2015

.

Ghét nhất cảm giác như bây giờ
Cô đơn tới mức cảm giác như mình chẳng còn ai cả
Người yêu nằm cạnh cũng không đem lại gì
Bạn bè ai cũng mỗi người một việc, mỗi người một mối lo, bố mẹ cũng trăm tỉ việc, cảm thấy mình thừa thãi
Lo lắng cho người ta nhưng người ta có nhận đâu... nửa thấy giận nửa thấy buồn
Không muốn nói chuyện với ai cả vì có vẻ không ai hứng thú
Có phải là đã mất tất cả rồi không?
Do bản thân mình hay do người ta không đủ để mình có thể mở lòng? Muốn khóc và kể về những gì mình đang phải trải qua nhưng chẳng thể tìm được động lực để bắt đầu
Khó khăn thế nào có ai hiểu được không?
Muốn được ở một mình nhưng sợ rằng nếu ở một mình thì sẽ chết mất...
Vì sao mọi thứ bỗng nhiên trở nên khó khăn như vậy?
Cứ tưởng rằng mình đã có mọi thứ mình cần rồi nhưng hóa ra mình vẫn trắng tay như vậy thôi!
Là do bản thân... phải không?
Chẳng còn gì cũng chẳng còn ai cả... chẳng thể tự cười vào mặt mình nữa
Bất lực lắm... chỉ biết khóc và khóc thôi!
Ghét cảm thấy yếu đuối, ghét sự yếu đuối đằng sau vỏ bọc mạnh mẽ của mình...

Saturday, 7 November 2015

Wednesday, 21 October 2015

How to know that he is not that into you :/

I read an article today saying "5 signals proving that he is completely love you"
  1. Texting: It is said that if he texts you everyday every time, he loves you truly. Because men dont like texting so if he texts you a lot, it means he misses you most of the time. Ok he does this. He sends me messages as soon as he wakes up and always says good night. 
  2. Keeping promises: If he always accomplishes what he promises to you, he loves you truly. Sometimes men forget what they have promised to others, but if you are not just someone, he will remember it and try his best to fulfill it. He has never promised me anything, we dont have any commitment with each other. Maybe he is not the type of man who likes making promises. I didnt notice this until i read the article but yes he has never promised me anything, even the smallest thing I could think of (even smoking).
  3. Taking care of you even the smallest thing: If he helps you to wear shoes, gives you a scarf when you cough or gives you his jacket when it's cold, he loves you truly. Men like being gallant to women, but just the special ones get the most special and careful treatment. There are times he giving me his jacket because i feel cold but not really often because i think i know how to take care of my own self. 
  4. Building trust: He might be an extrovert but whenever he is with you, if he just has his eyes on you, he loves you truly. Nothing is more important in a relationship than trust. We dont have that. I feel insecured about him, always. He doesnt seem like a womanizer but i still dont trust him. I dont like sharing. What is mine is only mine. He shouldnt treat other girls the same way he treats me. If there is something unique for just 2 of us, it should stay fucking unique until we are not together anymore. And he just simply doesnt know how to do it.
  5. Letting you interpret his life: If he wants you to meet his friends, he loves you truly. I have been introduced to his friends, at least the ones I know, not literally but technically. He doesnt hide our relationship but his parents dont know about it. My Mom knows because I want everyone to know I am with him now (in case he tries to hook up a girl). We dont public it on FB, I partly dont want to public everything but he has never asked. 
He has 2,5/5 ....
I dont know.... Half of me wants to continue and the other wants to stop. I dont feel safe in this relationship, but i dont feel risky!

Friday, 9 October 2015

Oct 9th 2015

Today i want to be alone

I want to smoke alone on the roof of Arnaud

Today is another day i feel nothing at all...